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Friday, October 5th, 2012

Oct 05, 2012 -- 11:17am

 

TODAY'S GENIUS AWARD GOES TO . . . . . . .
    A 33-year-old Florida man, who robbed a convenience store, and then insisted authorities couldn't arrest him, because he was on duty as a member of the "Zombie Response Team." The man robbed a Florida 7-Eleven of $1,500 then fled. When he was questioned by officers, he said he also was an officer of the law. At that point he pulled out a "Zombie Response Team" badge. The suspect insisted that this was a legitimate, though secret, arm of Florida's National Guard and that he was on official business, which could not be interrupted. As he was being taken to jail, the man continued to insist that he is part of a secret law enforcement team dedicated to preparing for the end times and specifically a "Zombie Apocalypse," which he reports could begin at any time.

AND THEN THERE'S .....
    Jason Cantrell, a 43-year-old assistant city attorney, who accidentally dropped a joint out of his pocket right in front of New Orleans Police Department officers while inside the Orleans Parish magistrate court. Cantrell, the son of a magistrate commissioner, could now lose his job. Officers reportedly laughed as they escorted Cantrell out of the courtroom and wrote him a summons for simple possession of marijuana.

OR HOW 'BOUT .....
    Cheryl Cooke, 21, who forgot to hide her marijuana before summoning police to her home. Cooke showed up at a Fort Pierce, Florida, police station, crying hysterically and appeared disoriented. She told police she had fallen asleep after working the night shift, and her daughter was missing. When police went to Cooke's home, they noticed the smell of marijuana and an opened black purse in plain view containing a clear bag of a leafy substance. Cooke began crying and said, "Are you going to take me to jail for this?" The child was found wandering near busy highway and was cared for by a Good Samaritan until police arrived.

OKAY, ONE MORE .....
    Mother of the year candidate, Stacia Rogers, 20, who was dumb enough to leave her two-year-old child in the less-than-capable hands of her 28-year-old boyfriend, who was on drugs at the time. Police found the child asleep on the sidewalk, outside a clothing store in Kissimmee, Florida. The boyfriend, Jerry Montalvo, was found by police outside a Family Dollar store several blocks away from the toddler. Both have been charged with child neglect.

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