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Monday, November 18th, 2013

Nov 18, 2013 -- 10:29am

TODAY'S GENIUS AWARD GOES TO . . . . . . .
    Al Qaeda-Linked Militants, who cut off the wrong man's head. The militants, fighting in Syria, scrambled to head off an embarrassing decapitation gaffe this week, asking for "understanding and forgiveness" after mistakenly cutting off and displaying the head of an ally. Spokesman, Omar al-Qahtani, confirmed that mistake and made reference to a story in which Mohammed said Allah would forgive a man who killed a believer in error.

AND THEN THERE'S .....
    A burglar in England, who broke into a woman's home and took a selfie on his victim's phone, while sitting at her dining table. The victim said, "The creepiest thing was him not taking anything of worth, it's unnerving." She also believes the event occurred while she was in the shower. She's since changed all the locks in her house. Police are asking for help in identifying the man.

    
OR HOW 'BOUT .....
    John Wesley Crews, 32, who apparently was in need of a toilet, so he went to a local hardware store, rolled himself up in some carpeting and relieved himself. Ace Hardware employees found Crews rolled up in 15 feet of green, matted carpet and 7 feet of gray matted carpet. The carpet had to be disposed of because Crews had urinated on it. Crews "apologized for being there," and told officers he was messed up "from being over at Don's Ice House." After he was taken to jail, Crews said he understood his rights and that the charges against him "weren't too bad." He also made several references to another officer "smirking" at him.

OKAY, ONE MORE .....
    52-year-old Brian Malta, who got into a disagreement with neighbors, so he fired his Civil War cannon at their homes. Deputies say the cannon was fired with only a powder charge and wadding. Officials say Malta had an ongoing dispute with his neighbors, but no details were released. He was arrested and charged with three counts of harassment and three counts of menacing. Police have confiscated the cannon.

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