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Wednesday, July 24th, 2013

Jul 24, 2013 -- 10:15am

TODAY'S GENIUS AWARD GOES TO . . . . . . .
    William "Billy" Cantrell, 28, who a stole box he thought contained cocaine but it turned out to be full of human ashes. Cantrell broke into a neighbors home and made off with a carton he believed was packed with narcotics. But when he was busted by cops, they discovered it was, in fact, the remains of the victim's mother. It's not yet known whether he snorted the deadly powder.

AND THEN THERE'S .....
    A 31 year old Washington woman, who felt compelled to prove her innocence of shoplifting, so she stripped naked in a JC Penny store. The woman was with her four children, ages, 4, 6, 9, and 13 when store surveillance cameras noticed something that looked suspicious. She was
approached by loss prevention officers and became very irate. After being moved into a private office, she stripped naked despite security officers continually telling her to get dressed. So the store security called police. The woman's nine year old daughter pulled out a stolen box of jewelry from underneath her shirt and began crying. The mother claimed she didn't know anything about it. However, the store security video showed mom coaching the child on how to put the jewelry under her shirt.

OR HOW 'BOUT .....
    Joseph Michael Brannen, who wanted to be a volunteer firefighter so bad he started a fire just to prove he should be one. Brannen was spotted at the fire location wearing firefighters gear. When questioned by deputies about this, Brannen explained that he wanted to be a volunteer firefighter so he purchased the bunker gear from e-Bay. He stated that he heard the call go out over his scanner, so he responded. Brannen was not permitted to fight the fire and was held on suspicion of starting the blaze that caused $500,000 in damage.

OKAY, ONE MORE ......
    Korey Harris, a sophomore defensive lineman with the West Virginia football team, who learned if you're going to be involved in a robbery, don't wear some of your football gear. Harris and two others entered a home and held the residents at gun point while burglarizing the house. One tiny flaw in Harris' plan, he was wearing his WVU-issued sweatpants with a #96 - his uniform number. The three men got away with cash and electronics. Harris was arrested and is being held with bail set at $75,000. Head coach Dana Holgorsen announced that Harris was suspended from the team.

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