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Monday, April 29th, 2013

Apr 29, 2013 -- 10:23am

 

TODAY'S GENIUS AWARD GOES TO . . . . . . .
    Ron Tuitt, a second-grade teacher in New Jersey, who has been fired for urinating in his classroom. Tuitt was canned for insubordination and inappropriate behavior after the state learned he had urinated in a classroom trash can. Tuitt had also urinated in a plastic bottle and asked students to take his waste to the boys' bathroom and flush it. According to the report, he even let students sit in his motorized wheelchair. Tuitt, who was a tenured teacher, had been teaching at the school since 1996 and has been dismissed.

AND THEN THERE'S .....
    William Daniel Lloyd, 31, who thought he could out-smart a squirrel, but couldn't. Lloyd tried to shoot a squirrel by taping a .40-caliber cartridge to a BB gun. His plan backfired sending Lloyd to a hospital with shrapnel wounds after the BB struck the cartridge's primer and the cartridge discharged and fragmented, striking Lloyd in the upper arm and lower leg. As an added bonus, Lloyd, a convicted felon, was arrested for discharging a firearm in public and possession of ammunition.

OR HOW 'BOUT .....
    Foster Bills, 22, who found yet another wonderful use for his local Walmart in Upstate New York: prostitution. Walmart managers contacted police to report that they had received an anonymous complaint of a male subject performing sexual acts in the store's bathroom, and "clients" were solicited through Craigslist. Investigators set up a meeting with Bills through Craigslist and caught him in the act.

OKAY, ONE MORE .....
    An employee from a Portland, Oregon doughnut store, who learned if you're ever invited to speak to students on career day, keep the penis talk to a minimum. An employee from Voodoo doughnut, a business that makes sweet treats in the shape of male genitalia, addressed the middle school career day and used "inappropriate language." The unidentified employee said, 'in order to get an 'effing' job here at Voodoo Donuts, you have to be able to make certain kinds of donuts,' and he was real explicit." The school district released a statement to parents that said a supervising teacher immediately stopped the presenter and told him and students that the language was unacceptable. Kind of makes you wonder why the company was invited to talk at career day in the first place.

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