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Tuesday, January 15th, 2013

Jan 15, 2013 -- 9:48am

 

TODAY'S GENIUS AWARD GOES TO . . . . . . .

    Vanessa Nicole Brooks, 22, who stole one police car, crashed it into another police car, then drove to McDonald's. While officers were at her apartment building investigating a domestic issue, Brooks hopped into a police cruiser and went for a joyride. Tampa police officers saw the missing cruiser in the parking lot of a McDonald's restaurant about a half hour later. Brooks ran from the car and officers chased and arrested her. Meanwhile, the car, which was left in gear, rolled backward and collided with a tree. The cops were not lovin' it.

OR HOW 'BOUT .....

    Reverend Thomas Donovan, a priest in Springfield, Illinois, who had to be rescued from the bondage mask and handcuffs he had on inside a church rectory. Emergency responders arrived to find the priest handcuffed and wearing an orange jumpsuit and a leather bondage type mask with a bar in his mouth. Officers initially thought someone had maliciously done this to the priest. However, the holy man admitted that he "put himself in this configuration and does this from time to time." The priest, now on leave from his post with the Diocese of Springfield, did not further detail why he placed himself in such an unorthodox configuration.

AND THEN THERE'S .....

    Maria C. Waltherr-Willard, 61, a longtime Foreign Language high school teacher, who is suing a school district in Ohio for allegedly discriminating against her because of her disability, which is a phobia of young children. Yes, you heard that correctly. Waltherr-Willard's lawsuit claims she experiences stress, anxiety, chest pains, vomiting, nightmares and higher than healthy blood pressure when she's around young children. Sounds like she should have chosen a different career.
OKAY, ONE MORE .....

    A man in Aberdeen, Washington, who pulled into the parking lot at the city jail and repeatedly honked his horn. He told police officers he wanted them to bring out a jail inmate so he could talk with him. When the driver refused to identify himself, he was jailed, too. Police found a knife on the unidentified man inside the jail. Bonus!

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