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Thursday, November 29th, 2012

Nov 29, 2012 -- 9:30am

 

TODAY'S GENIUS AWARD GOES TO . . . . . . .
    Jillian Martone, 35, who threatened her date's life with a kitchen knife and smashed his apartment window with a rock after he refused to say whether she was his girlfriend or not. It was their first date. Police found a hysterical Martone crying outside the apartment. The officers noticed the broken window when they went inside the apartment, and the man told officers the story. Martone was held for questioning.

AND THEN THERE'S .....
    Raquel Gonzalez, 24, who beat up her boyfriend, 30, after a sexual encounter where he reached a happy ending ... and she didn't. The post-coital assault on her boyfriend left the man with scratches on his face and most likely a diminished desire to be intimate with Gonzalez again. Officers noted that Gonzalez was "belligerent and uncooperative" and declined to answer
questions.

OR HOW 'BOUT .....
    An online version of China's Communist Party newspaper, who actually believed a report in The Onion naming North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un the "Sexiest Man Alive" was real. The People's Daily ran a 55-page photo spread on its website in a tribute to the round-faced leader, under the headline "North Korea's Top Leader Named The Onion's Sexiest Man Alive for 2012." Quoting the Onion's spoof report, the Chinese newspaper wrote, "With his devastatingly handsome round face, his boyish charm, and his strong, sturdy frame, this Pyongyang-bred heartthrob is every woman's dream come true."

OKAY, ONE MORE .....
    Seth Scott, who used some poor judgment when he took stolen goods from one Castle Jewelry store in Kentucky and tried to sell them at another Castle jewelry store in Kentucky. Scott tried to sell some distinctive gold chains, but employees got suspicious and notified police. When authorities arrived, they found $20,000 worth of stolen jewelry in his vehicle.

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